Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Beginning

I really don't know where to begin in order to get the jumble of my thoughts out of my head and down onto this piece of paper, so I guess I'll just start writing and see where I end up.  This is a very big step for me to be taking as I am an extremely private person, especially when it comes to my thoughts and feelings about being gay.  Only a few people that are quite close to me know about me being gay, which is why I am keeping this blog anonymous for the time being.  Plus I am well aware of how much more open I can be if I do not reveal my identity to the world at this time.  I have felt that I should start this blog and lay my thoughts and feelings out for many to see because I am hoping that some may finding some help in my journey as I figure my life out myself.  I also think that this will help me to organize my thoughts, so it is a win-win situation as far as I can tell.

I have no idea how many people if anyone will actually read this, but I had to start somewhere and see where I am led.  There has to be a beginning to everything and thus this is the beginning of my blog, my writing to the world so that they can know there is someone like them.  Everyone has a unique situation and I believe there are others in similar situations as mine who are already writing blogs, but maybe someone needs my specific words in order to get the help they need.

A little bit of information about me as we commence our journey into my mind (I won't get too detailed).  I am currently a student at Brigham Young University as I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  However, I am also very much a homosexual man, being very attracted to other men around me, so my life is quite a tricky situation as I am trying to reconcile the two things without lying to myself or without lying to the Church.  Granted, I am not a perfect person and have made mistakes in both regards, but I'm working on it and I believe there is a solution for me.  What that solution is, I have no idea, but I believe that my writing this blog will help me to figure it out for myself.  I am a returned missionary, having served an honorable full-time mission for the Church, and no matter what, I'm grateful for that experience and all that it taught me and what it helped me to become.

With that intro, I will close my beginning blog post and write more tomorrow as I will probably fall asleep if I continue to try writing and end up with a bunch of zzzzzzzzzzzz on the screen lol.  The first post is not very exciting as I haven't begun to talk about my experiences or feelings, but rather the thoughts behind this blog and a little bit about me so you might see a little bit of my motivation especially as I continue. Until we meet again, goodbye!